Boys Lie: How Not To Get Played
Belisa Vranich and Holly Eagleson
Boys Lie: How Not To Get Played has the goal of opening the eyes of sexually active teens or teens who are deciding whether to be sexually active. It uses frank, "teen"-friendly language to answer questions young women may have.
The book is arranged into chapters labeled Lies. Each "lie" then has it's alternative phrasing listed under the heading "Other Ways He Might Say It". This is followed by "The Truth" which seeks to debunk the myth. Next the authors give young women some ways to combat the lies under "What to Say to His Lies". My favorite section in each chapter is "What to Do if You've Already Bought The Lie" which lets girls know that it's ok to change your mind. We all do. More information may change our decisions. That's normal. The final section in each chapter is a Q&A.
First off, I would have to say that I believe in abstinence but the authors make it clear that "We don't promote an abstinence-only agenda" (14). They also don't mince words and want to give young women as much information as they possibly can. That said, I still think this is a valuable book. One that I wish I had when I was younger.
In the introduction, the authors point out the importance of knowing what your child is reading, watching, texting, or doing online. (19) They note how this will help you know where your child is coming from. They aren't saying spy on children, they are saying know your child, talk to your child, and try to foster an atmosphere that encourages openness and safety.
Vranich and Eagleson "talk" to young women about what constitutes "sex", making sure the guy wears a condom, and protecting your mind as well as your body. They even tackle dating abuses. Vranich and Eagleson tell young women not to "think they have to do certain things" (45) and that "if you cannot talk to him about STIs, you cannot have sex him." (136)
Lie #10: I could be with someone hotter than you, strives to inform teens about the dangers of this "looks" crazy society we live in. That guys can try to control young women by criticising the way they look but saying how much they don't care. They walk teens through different areas of the body and what's considered "normal" which they say is however you look.
Another lie focuses on "sexting" which we know has become even more prevalent with the availability of smart phones and social media. "That one shot of you can be fatal to your future. That goes for your reputation now, your relationships in the future, and even your career 20 years from now." I can tell you there's a picture of me on the internet from 1988 when I worked as a Summer Tour Guide in college. That's over 20 years ago, people. And just because it's not on the internet now, doesn't mean it won't one day. The authors cite a variety of examples of things like that happening.
All in all, despite my misgivings on the age this book might be intended for, I can see how it is useful information, even just to help young women practice what they want to say before they find themselves in any of these situations. A definite purchase if you work with young women.
GiveawayDo you have a teen in your life you think might need this book? Do you just want to arm yourself with information and dole it out as necessary? Here's your chance!
The publisher is willing to give away a copy of this book!
Just complete the form at the end of the post and you will be entered. The drawing is open to US/Canada only until Sunday, July 18, 2010, 11:59 pm.
About the Authors
TLC Tour Dates for Boys Lie
Tuesday, July 13th: Book Junkie
Wednesday, July 14th: I Swim for Oceans
Monday, July 19th: Suko’s Notebook
Tuesday, July 20th: Simply Stacie
Thursday, July 22nd: There’s A Book
Monday, July 26th: Write for a Reader
Wednesday, July 28th: Lovely Undergrad
Monday, August 2nd: La Femme Readers
Thanks to TLC Tours and HCI Books for this ARC.